"It was Christmas eve, babe/In the drunk-tank..."

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I should say that it is not Christmas eve, nor am I in the drunk-tank. I just love The Pogue's "Fairytale..."

I have had two falls. The first was off a mountain – sort of. And I bashed my right knee.
The second was in a dark car park. I tripped and fell, over a place where a tree had been, but was no longer there, causing injury to my left knee. As I hit the ground a woman who was passing stopped and enquired, solicitously, if I was ok. From a kneeling position I answered in the affirmative. But a man came and picked up my car keys, which had landed some distance away, and asked if I was alright. He was quickly followed by a boy on crutches, and a woman in a wheelchair, pushed by a dwarf.
(I lied about the crutches and the wheelchair people).

But it just shows how close one is to unforeseen trauma. I blame both accidents on wearing boots. But Freud said there is no such thing as an accident. Or was that Jung? Anyway, it was one of them – and if it wasn’t, it ought to have been.

That settles it: I am going back to skating. Clearly I am safer on the ice that on the ground.

As for this Tai Chi I have been trying – well it is ok, and I am sure it will do me some good, but I miss the atmosphere of the rink. Last night I dreamt I was skating. Skating really well, with skill and confidence – even though the ice had turned to slush.

I am eating bread made from spelt and rye. This is because I have a slight intolerance to wheat.

I’ve a slight intolerance to wheat:
When I eat it, it flies to my feet,
And little brown roots
Sprout out of my boots,
And anchor my legs to the street.

Somebody said I should try goats’ milk. So I did – and it’s ok. Also sheep’s cheese. But that is hard to come by. I asked the man in the place where I get my funny bread, and he said the sheep around here tend to yield wool rather than cheese. I wonder if he is trying to wind me up.

I went to a meeting to the MDF last night. That is the ‘Manic Depressive Fellowship’. Not that I am Bi-polar – I don’t think so, anyway. I just went along for the eats. My friend runs the group, and as it was Christmas they were having a sort of buffet. I enjoyed it.
Incidentally, I think the term ‘Bi-polar’ is much better, because people (lay people, that is) confuse ‘manic’ with ‘maniac’.
Anyway, they have invited me to their proper Christmas meal, in January.

I have suffered from depression, as readers of this column will know, and with OCD thrown in for good measure. But I am working on that.

When I fell off the mountain (sort of) I bust my digital camera. Perhaps someone will buy me one, as a Christmas present. I used to quite enjoy photography – perhaps I could do so again.

Anyway, I have used 44 minutes of my 1 hour allocated time on this computer in Widnes library (I could ask for extra time, but I might feel like little Oliver, asking for more

So I will stop there.