NO MEAN FEET

Aren’t feet small. I mean relative to the rest of your body, with what they’ve got to hold up.

I thought that this morning when I awoke. Sitting on the edge of my bed, I observed my feet, waiting patiently on the end of my legs, ready to go about their daily duty of trundling me about the planet. How do they do it?

It was different when we had tails. Then we had a sort of third leg. A tripod. I wonder how many thousand years of evolution it took to get rid of the tail? And during that time how were the feet being preparing to do all the work on their own?

You’d think that as our tail grew shorter, our feet would grow longer – to compensate. But no. And the fact that did not happen is another one in the eye for the creationists: I mean if we really were designed then surely when an important modification like this was carried out there would be all sorts of calculations to make. And one of the most likely outcomes would have been to have made the feet longer. But, as I say, this was not the case. Instead we had to learn to walk upright on ‘too-small’ feet.

I have a blister on the little toe on my right foot. This is due to the chafing of heavy gardening boots. Edgar says my feet will get used to the change of footwear – there you go again: relying on the poor old feet to compensate – and in the meantime he has given me an Elastoplast to apply to the affected area. It came off in bed and Edgar did not think to give me a spare. So I shall have to pay a visit to the pharmacy in my lunch hour.

Another thing I’ve noticed about my feet: there is more space between the big toe and the next one on my right foot than there is on my left. This does not seem to cause any problems, but I am keeping an eye on things.

You see, when you have a sedentary occupation you tend to think more about the care of your bum. But when you do proper work – like gardening and park maintenance – then your focus is, quite naturally, on your feet (since so are you – for most of the day).

I hope you don’t think I have gone on too long about feet. Actually I don’t care much if you do. I think feet need to be brought to the forefront, not taken for granted so much.

So if you take my tip, you’ll look after your feet.