Bullshit, George.
What do you mean?
Your metaphor: ringing down the curtain. The play ends? The play never ends, George; we don’t get let off that easy. To extend your metaphor: when you walk off-stage – into the wings, as you think - you actually walk onto another stage, into another play. So before you jump off a bridge, just remember that you may have a more demanding part in your next play.
So you do believe in reincarnation? Learning lessons?
Whoa! ‘Learning lessons’? Take, let’s say, a little Ethiopian – a baby – who dies of starvation aged 6 months. What has she learned? Not to get born in Ethiopia?
Okay, so there are mistakes. Because we choose to get born into a physical body, we are subject to the laws of this material plane – the frailties of the flesh.
So what happens to the ‘soul’ of this small deceased person? Does it go back from whence it came, to await another turn on the merry-go-round?
Something like that – possibly.
But WHY, George? I mean what is the point of it all?
I don’t know. But I am surprised that you are so dismissive of the notion of reincarnation.
I’m dismissive of the notion of ‘learning lessons’.
But surely you cannot have one without the other?
As I said, squire, our religion is of the ‘pick and mix’ variety.
This is ridiculous.
Your problem, George, is that you ask the wrong questions.
People are always telling me what my problem is. But go on.
It’s not about finding the right answers, but framing the right questions.
You’ll have to explain that one.
Okay, to put it simply: if you can’t find the right answer you are not asking the right question.
My brain hurts.
And so it should.
Now, let’s get this form filled in. NAME?
You know my name.
Have you got a middle name?
Yes, but I’m not telling you what it is.
ADDRESS? We’ll put Briarwood down for that – it sounds better than ‘Salvation Army Hostel’ or ‘Psychiatric Hospital’.
Put ‘temporary’ in brackets.
AGE? - Shall I put down 'awaiting result of carbon-dating'?
Fuck Off.
MARITAL STATUS? Bit of a grey area, that, for you, eh?
I don’t see why you need it anyway
Quite right – I’ll scrub it.
OCCUPATION?
Writer. Well, part-time.
ANY CRIMINAL CONVICTIONS? How about ‘terrorism’? Okay, only kidding… NONE.
Is that it?
One more: DO YOU SWEAR TO KEEP SECRET UNTO DEATH, THE TEACHINGS OF THE CHURCH OF THE LATTER-DAY SINNERS, AND THE WISDOM IMPARTED TO YOU THEREBY?
Are you serious?
Shut up, and sign it… okay now there’s just the question of membership fee.
Membership Fee!! For a church?
Oh, yes. Another of our tenets is: There is no such thing as a free service.
How much is it?
What can you afford?
Well I-
Okay. We’ll call it fifty – while you’re in dire straits.
Fifty pounds! I haven’t got that much cash.
American Express will do nicely.
Myra, - do you realise we have not been using speech marks?
George – you mean… we’ve been having unprotected text!
