A crackly voice causes him to jerk his head up:
Northern
Rail apologise for a delay of something, something, something to their 10.17
service to something something…
He’s not really listening. He’s in no hurry. And
anyway, he hasn’t bought a ticket. The reason he hasn’t bought a ticket is not
just because the ticket office is shut – it usually is – but because he’s not
sure he’s going to board the train when it does arrive.
…because of an incident on the line…
He hears this. But what does it mean? Some leaves
have blown onto the track? Or, more ominously, someone has jumped in front of the
train?
Such a messy way to go. They must have been
desperate.
He’s desperate. But not that desperate. Is he?
What’s he doing here, when he could be at home, in
bed? It’s a waste of time anyway. He
knows he won’t get the job. He doesn’t even want it.
And even if he gets the job, it won’t last long.
They never do. How many jobs has he had in the last eighteen months? He’s lost
count. He means to stick at them - it's just that he gets bored. By the time they’ve told him where to hang
his coat, and shown him where the lavatory his, the yawning starts. Of course
he hides it – or tries to. But they soon cotton on. Lack of motivation. That’s
what they say. And they’re right.
But how do you get motivated? You can’t just make
yourself motivated; motivation has to come from the outside; from somewhere
else. And, for him, it never seems to come.
Of course he should have stayed at university.
Studied for his doctorate, like they wanted him to. But he met her. And they got married. And then he needed a job.
He stares down the line. A red light blinks to
green. Does that mean a train’s coming? A thought crosses his mind. What if he... No more interviews, no more jobs. No more HER. But he doesn’t really have bottle – or the motivation.
The train approaches. He has an idea: If it’s full, if there are
people standing, he will take that as a sign that he should not go for the interview.
The train arrives. He can see that it’s full. But
there’s no one standing. But if he gets on he will have to stand. So does that
count as people standing? Difficult call. While he’s thinking about it, doors shut and the
train moves off. Well that’s it. He obviously wasn’t meant to go for the
interview.
He heads for the bus stop. If a No 26 comes first,
he will get that and go home. If the 27a comes first, he will take that into
town, and have a couple of drinks and something to eat in the Feathers. Once
again, he will let fate decide.
It’s a No. 26. But it’s full. There are people
standing. And, right behind it, comes a 27a!
What was it that Jung talked about: Synchronicity?
1 comment:
Nice one, George. Though I'm not too sure Jung would agree.
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