When I got home the following note had been pushed through my letterbox:
We know were you live – you English plinker and we will be calling agen and when we do you had been better to having the merchandises ready for our collecting less you wanting to look like jagsaw pizzle what has got few pieces missing – a well wisher.
I am not a timid person, but although I put on a brave face to Sydney, I have no wish to have my physiognomy tampered with by these oafs. And as for the ‘merchandises’ to which they refer, these items are no longer in my possession. I threw them overboard, just before we docked. I had ‘cold feet’ at the last minute. If customs had found them that would have been me booked for a longish stay at her Majesty’s pleasure. And prison, for a good looking fellow like myself, would be no laughing matter.
Of course the turnip-heads won’t believe me. And even if they did, Sven would still want recompensing – and I don’t have that sort of money. In fact I don’t have any sort of money.
I don’t understand how they found out where I am. Gupta said that this was a ‘no questions asked and no information given’ house.
What do I do now?
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
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1 comment:
You may remember me. I lived for a few ghastly weeks in that lesbian commune run by your ex wife.
I was going through a period of uncertainty about my sexual orientation. But that brief sojourn at Wynorrin was enough to decide me: I have come out of that dank and tangled thicket and am on the safe hard standing of heterosexuality – if you catch my drift.
I was saddened to learn of your reduced circumstances, but I think I may be able to help. My father (Sponce Shoes Ltd) is looking for somewhere to hold residential bonding groups for his senior executives, and I think Wynorrin would be ideal. Would you like me to put in a word on your behalf?
You may contact me at norah_sponce@hotmail.co.uk
This could be the start of a new life – for both of us.
Look forward to hearing from you.
Norah
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