RELIGION: A dying trade?

When I was in town the other day I saw a man wearing one of those huge plastic aprons, with “Repent, for the day of Judgement is at hand.

And across the road, a man with a sign saying “Darwin was right. Repent all you Creationists before Natural Selection snuffs you out”

No, there wasn’t – but it was a nice idea.

And it got me thinking about Religion

When you think about it, if people were not afraid of dying there would be no religion. Religion deals in death – even though it sells ‘eternal life’.
Some people are so afraid of facing this great leap into the unknown that they will clutch at any bent straw; swallow any old load of nonsense, if it promises them ‘eternal life’.

I am afraid of dying – but I am trying to get along without religion.
I find it hard to conceive of a time when I will not exist. In fact, I consider it a damn shame if I cease to exist; what a waste of talent.

But I have to consider that if I can survive death then so can my cat; and so can all the other animals, and the worms in my garden, and all the insects and the fishes. And, I mean, where are they going to put us all?

This is not a trivial question. And here is another important question: suppose I have been married three times, my first two spouses having died, then to whom shall I be wed in the afterlife?

Ah, but – say the clerics – there is no ‘marriage’ in heaven (I am not so sure about Hell).
Oh, so it’s ‘free love’ then? ‘Fraid not – they tell me – you won’t need sex because you won’t have a body; bodies are only for this earthly plane. Fair enough. But my friend, Gervaise, says he lives for sex – so he’s going to be disappointed then. Best take Andrew Marvel’s advice to his Coy Mistress, and get it on while you can.

Also if you have no body then you can’t drink beer, or wine or whisky – so Come landlord fill the flowing bowl/Until it doth run over.

And you can’t ride a horse or a motor-bike, or swim or skate or play tennis. Then what exactly are we going to do? Sing hymns all day? Sounds bloody boring to me.

So you need to think carefully about the eternal life package they are selling you: read the small print, get a second opinion.