DORIS - AND A SPIDER

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I awake to hear Doris Day asking me to take her back to the Black Hills of Dakota.
Hang on Doris – I need a pee. And straightaway I am out of bed and into the bathroom. But there is a spider, frantically trying to climb out of the washbasin. Of course washbasins are not designed to facilitate the easy exit of spiders, so he keeps slipping down. But he doesn’t give up. In fact he redoubles his efforts when he hears my approach.
I don’t like killing anything, so I get a glass and a piece of paper and scoop him up. He doesn’t like it; he doesn’t realise it’s for his own good.
Then, I open a window and tip him outside – to freedom.
I have a pee then hasten back to the bedroom – but Doris has gone!

I’ve been having those dreams again, Anna: the “failure” dreams. They are becoming more frequent. It was exams again. The “teacher” was reading out the results to the assembled students. (I was an adult and it was like college or university). When she read out mine, a group of girls at the front gave out a sympathetic gasp. I was embarrassed. I had done badly in “English”: my best subject.
Later, I confessed to the “teacher” – ‘I just have not put the work in’. I felt so dejected, ashamed.
And then, there was Doris – with an invitation. And now she is gone.

I try to analyse these dreams. I know that my unconscious mind is telling me something: something I urgently need to attend to – or perhaps just accept, and face. But what?
My “failure” was years ago: grammar school. Since then (academically, at least), I have been successful. So what is it my unconscious mind is telling me? Perhaps the “academic” setting of the dreams is a metaphor – but a metaphor for what?

I wish Freud were here.

Or even you, Anna.

Where are you?

Calling A for Anna –
Come in A for Anna -
Are you receiving me?
OVER.