Why are you putting into one's mouth the words I have not spoken? But it is possible that you are involving in the displacement (of which I am familiar since is covered on my course - which you do not ask me how I am getting on)

Sometimes , instead of anger being directed at some outside source, anger is changed inside of a person to sadness and this comes to the forward as depression. This I know. And it may be hard to sort out the anger what one feels because it may be about one's parent who is now deceased. And one cannot explain to them how one feels and even if still alive is maybe old and frail doddering person who you think may just be killed by your anger.

But it even goes further beyond than that because when one was a small child if your mummy said- you will be the death of me. Or- if you behave like what you are behaving I shall go mad and they carry me off to the loony bin. And you think- oh dear, such power I have over one's mummy and best be careful or I may kill them, or worse. And so if you feel angry you pretend not to be angry and you stuff it down inside of yourself. But the anger never go away because it is like energy, and like you have said, Georgie, you cannot destroy energy, but only convert into something else.

So your little child mind thinks- anger is dangerous so I will change it into sadness and then I won't kill anybody. And then when you grow up you do not know how to be angry - how to express anger - because not all of it can be changed into sadness, so it stay like geni in bottle, in fairytale waiting for someone to come along and release. Then one day- BAM! Someone knock stopper off bottle and anger geni leap out and let them have full force of anger what has been store up for years and years and years. And poor bugger does not know what hit him/her, and cries out in astonishment. And then you feel guilty, and stuff anger geni back in bottle, where he wait- till next time.

But one is getting away from the point. There is also some people who have been taught as child they should not be sad. So they have bottle with all sadness stuffed away in. And one day when some small sad thing occur it knock stopper off their bottle of sadness and it comes out. Not leap, like the anger, but just pour like treacle over everything. And then people say- why you so sad? Because little incident what knocked stopper off bottle was maybe a bit sad but not like tragic or anything, which is way you are reacting. 

Sometimes if one cannot get stopper back on sadness bottle they say- go see doctor for there must be something wrong with your brain. And doctor try to be helpful and say- take these pills. And if lucky these pills help you put stopper back on sadness bottle - for a bit. But they do not get rid of all the sadness in the bottle, so there it lie, and wait to come treacling out when pills wear off or maybe you stop taking them.

So really best thing is to have a look what may be in your bottle of anger and bottle of sadness. But I do not have time here to tell how that might be done.

Anyway, since you do not ask how I am doing with my studies, I will tell you- I am doing well, indeed and expect to be asked to do also Master degree and possibly Doctor of Philosophy degree. But I am alarmed at what you write, which is not like you, not like you write usually. So am taking this weekend to come down visit you.

Therefore do not make any plans because I shall be taking up all your time- and not just in bedroom (although that is important) but also to talk about these psychological problems. Oh, I shall say 'issues' because no one has problems any more- only issues.

Be ready for me

Anna