I thought British Police were supposed to be best in world??

Well, I did not think this really, but you British this is what you always saying. What a load of cobras.

Anyways I do not wish to dwell upon hypocrisy of British. For I have more important fish to batter.

This word... slipperifies what you use in poem. I check dictionary and can find no such word. I hope you are not making up words again. This is partly why they put you in the hospital for treatment all that time ago.

I like poem though.

Dave is not very well. They send him home from college with what you call 'suspension'. This have something to do with events at summer camp. Dave does not wish to talk about such (alleged) happenings which he say did not happen. Anyways, man from union came to see him yesterday and he will represent Dave at hearing which is to be heard in near future. He advise Dave not to talk to newspapers as this will only muddy waters (what strange sayings you English do use.)
Unfortunately Dave has already muddied waters by speaking to gentleman from certain newspaper which he wishes to remain anonymous at this stage but which I know to be Daily Mail. This is newspaper noted for crusading for the underdog and for not mincing the words (or so Dave say).

Anyways I will be keeping you abreast of things as they happen unless you read in newspapers about it first.

But you are sounding a bit downish to me. I wish you would tell me what is really going on.

Travel Lodge do a very nice room for two people sharing at reasonable cost. Why do we not - as temporaneous solution to our problem - meet for one night and you can tell me about what has really been happening.

I have bought new toothbrush in anticipation.

Yours to be seen soon

Anna