Sunday, August 01, 2010

Brian’s cold is much better. But now he keeps making noise in throat like he is trying dredge up something from depths below. But nothing appears. This habit is irritating.


But worst of all  has he passed on to me his cold, despite all precautions I am taking. Brian is recommending me to drink the Lemsip muck which I do, and to help its efficacy I follow by large shot of vodka.

When I have cold, always is it so much worse than cold of ordinary person, and do you know why this is? I will tell you. It is because I have the narrow sinuses. This is fact. When little girl, doctor visit school with nurse assistant and look down throat of every child, and also up nose. Some require no attention, but rest are split into ‘noses’ and ‘throats’, and later, throats have to go into hospital and have removed their tonsils. But noses are attended to on the spot by the insertion of cloth-covered wire up each nostril. Right up. So I think it is going into my brain and I shout out but nurse holds my arms so stopping me from striking this doctor. This is very unpleasant, and is how I know I have narrow sinuses.

I am feeling so shitty and this is reason why my writing to you had been delayed for this long time. But now have I risen up from sick bed to communicate with you.

I am definitely now thinking the marriage is not good idea. This I inform Brian of and he says that is all right, but he has idea. He will buy wedding ring (proper one made of gold, not some old piece of brass what would turn green my finger.) Then we just pretend we are married for when we go out to bus company functions and for neighbours who always are saying to Brian, have you pooped the question yet? (They are meaning has he asked me to marry because they think I am girlfriend). Also Brian is quite handsome a man – even though not very tall - and maybe they think such a waste if he does not betroth himself. But could also be some are suspecting Brian is gay and hoping he will come out of the cupboard.
Whatever.

Do you think this wedding ring is good idea? Of course Brian would not be attempting to defraud Inland Revenue people because to them he would not pretend marriage – only to bus company, and neighbours.

But even though proper wedding is now the dead duck, Brian say he will still clear out motorbike bits from spare room and equip it for himself as bedroom. Therefore will leave me able to redo main bedroom more suitable décor for boudoir of Swedish lady.

But all this is making me a bit suspect. Maybe even paranoical. Because I am wondering if Brian doing all of this so I will stay with him in flat, thinking I am safe because he is homosexual. I am beginning to wonder though if this really is so, because Brian has not brought home any boyfriends for such long a time and he is always asking me to go to cinema with him and to the restaurant, which is okay by me because he does not attempt to grope me in darkness of movie theatre. But maybe he is playing what you call ‘waiting game’, eh?

Now, you maybe thinking – how come is Anna having change of mind? Since when first moving into flat was disappointed Brian was not showing sexual interest in her body? This is true. But Anna has now become more discernable as to who she copulates with. On looking back on life so far she see how readily she has got it on with this man here and that man there, because always she is looking for love. Not just for the sex was all the relations she has indulged in, though you may not be believing this. No – always searching for LOVE was Anna. This has result of going up lots of blind alleyways (I don’t mean real alleyways – though this also is true – I am speaking with metaphor).

But despite the energy and diligence Anna has applied to this task, alas, no such love has Anna found. And so now she is keeping herself pure (well as pure as possible) until real love come along. Naturally she hopes this will be her Georgie. But he will have to get on his skates (as you British say) otherwise she may be overtaken by someone else.

Enough have I now written, and must retire back to bed. (Brian is having to cook by microwave all his meals. But most times he is bringing home the Chinese or the Indian, which we share.)

Write soon and I hope you are feeling better in spirits.

Oh, and yes I did have a watch and listen to those elderly gentlemen playing jazz. Very satisfactory. But I was wondering where they find all the puff to blow hard their instruments without falling down in dead faint. Still they do – and more power to their elbow-grease I say.

Your loving (and still available – just) Anna.