Tuesday, November 30, 2004

In which things become a little tricky

Trouble with Anastasia (the au pair).
I came home from work to find her in the sitting room telling Harriet about the little trip we took together on the boat.
I said to her: Why are you talking to the dog? She can't understand you, you know.
She replied: I thought you said she understood every word that was said to her.
That's just an expression - you silly Swedish person, I retorted.
She snorted: I know that, stupid - I was just making a joke. You think we Swedes have no sense of humour but we do. And, as a matter of fact, I was just rehearsing, so as I would get it right when I tell Mrs George!

I had to remind her that her work permit had expired and she was now, technically, an illegal immigrant.
She began to swear at me - in Spanish again. She always swears in Spanish; I don't know why.
Anyway, she is not talking to me now. She will - when she wants a lift to her English class.

There's something wrong

There's something wrong with his brain,
I've said so again and again;
Since he's had that lobotomy
He's completely forgotten me -
And he won't wear a hat in the rain

Monday, November 29, 2004

A word from our Home Secretary

You may think it's alright
To sit there at night,
With your feet up, watching the telly;
But Osama Bin Laden
Might be out in the garden,
With a missile aimed at your belly.

The Pogues

I am going to see The Pogues at Manchester on December 12th.
I am going on my own (Aw!). I did ask the au pair, but once she knew she would have to pay for her own ticket, she began to swear volubly at me in Spanish. I don't speak any foreign language (except American) so it went right over my head.

But just wait until she wants me to give her a lift to her English class!

It's a pity Kirsty McColl will not be with the Pogues - I wonder how they will do 'Fairytale of New York'.

It's not the first time I have been to a concert on my own, so I will be ok. I know not to speak to any strangers (unless they are women) and to come straight home afterwards.
Although the last time - when I saw 'The Seekers' I met an ex student who persuaded her husband to give me a lift home. Chris, her name was. So if you see this, Chris, thanks.


Friday, November 26, 2004

To Shirley

Thanks for letting me see your writings; to look through your child's eyes.
The money boxes - blue for Lesley, red for Shirley... that was so real... what it is like being a child. I don't know why that particular bit should stick with me
Don't get me on my old hobby-horse... but you know how I see a child as so passive, so vulnerable... someone who has things done to them... said to them. And they accept it... trusting in the adult. The little companions having to go on top of the wardrobe in a sealed bag... What is this thing 'Life' that I have got myself into... I sort of imagine a little child saying that. No, not saying it, but feeling it.
So many things that I was told... all for the best intentions. And the little pleasures... sitting on your grandad's knee. Then accepting that it must come to an end when an adult tells you it is time for bed.
I had a phase of not being able to sleep. It was awful. But I had to go to bed... to lie awake... and worry about being tired for school... or whatever awful things happened to you if you didn't get enough sleep.

You have told me some of this before, but it is like seeing another part of you.


Sunday, November 21, 2004

The way things are

My temporal lobes are giving me gyp. It started on Friday, when the au pair asked me to give her a lift to her English class.

I didn't mind this, but she wanted me to do a three mile detour to pick up some stuff from the Dry Cleaners. When I protested, she reminded me that I was responsible for the stain on her skirt.

I reminded her that I had already apologised for spilling the red wine. But she pretended not to understand. (Foreigners always do that). But I took her, anyway.

This made me late for my meeting at the club, with Harry. He wasn't pleased. And when I asked him if he had brought the magazines, he said Gwendoline wasn't finished with the September issue. Said it was giving her new ideas.

How a woman can be so interested in Practical Mechanics beats me

On Saturday evening, I was due to be installed as 'Grand Master' of the 'Order of The Great Goat' (Sankey Lodge) but I forgot my apron. Now I will have to wait until next month.
What a bummer.

Oh yes - and our application to have Sydney put into 'Care' has been turned down - again.


no title

I wouldn't come for a ride in your boat, Noah, if you were the last man on earth.

Georgina

Saturday, November 20, 2004

That goup

Ok. So some upstart 'group' has quoted me without my permission. It isn't the first time someone has appropriated my work. It is, as they say, the curse of genius.
Take, for example, when I told Robert Pirsig about my idea for a book describing my travels across Great Britain on a bicycle. It was also to be a metaphysical journey into my unconscious mind, culminating in reuniting with my alter ego 'George'. And since it described the part the Anglican church had played in my life, a working title was 'Christianity and the care of the pedal-cycle'
Need I say more! Pirsig gets there first with his (inferior) paperback, and has never needed to work since!

Currently I am working on a novel based upon the inland waterways ,'Effect Without Cause' Just you watch - someone will try to beat me to it.

(in response to R J Adams)


Friday, November 19, 2004

Philosophical thought

Is it possible to become addicted to abstinence?

'Twas on a frosty morning

Friday - a hard frost. The car is iced up! Melanie having problems with her car.
The children have a day where they go in their 'own clothes' because it is 'Children in Need' Day. They both look good. So 'trendy' (do people still use that word)
I woke up feeling down. Thought if I went down I might feel up. But I went downstairs and still felt down. So I have come back up.

The sun is shining, though. I think I will take a trip to my cottage by the sea. A listed building situated on the end of 'Wosser Point'.
Work is required on the windows.

The bikes sleep in the garage.

'Where's December's happy crew,
German bikes and sidecars too'

Monday, November 15, 2004

Conference

Yesterday (Sunday) I attended a conference on OCD - in Manchester. I went with my friend Alison, and we had a good day. The workshops and speakers were excellnt, and although a lot of what was said was not new to me, some of it certainly was.

(I was there both as someone 'in the trade' and a sufferer... slightly)

I especially liked the guy from the University of Wales, talking about 'mindfulness' as a way of dealing with OCD. Well, as a way of living really.

A long wait for a sausage and egg sandwich in the Retro pub but it was fine when it arrived.

We couldn't find where we had parked the car (country bumpkins, not used to the big city) but were helped out by two 0' them new-fangled 'warden' people. The young girl was from Inverness. What was she doing so far from home? I didn't ask.

Where are you now?

As I turned out the light
In my bedroom, last night,
I wondered what you might be doing;
And then, through my tears,
I remembered: ten years!
For all that under-age screwing.

Friday, November 12, 2004

Neurotic? or Psychotic?

GEORGE SAYS

A man enters the psychiatrist's office. He is dressed in the uniform of an 18th century British admiral: boots, white knee breeches, blue tunic with gold braid, tricorn hat. He has a patch over his right eye and his empty right sleeve is tucked into his jacket.
He says to the psychiatrist: You've got to help me - I keep thinking I am Napoleon.
The psychiatrist says:Nelson - you keep thinking you're Nelson.
The man replies: I AM Nelson - But I keep thinking I'm Napoleon

Wednesday, November 10, 2004

GEORGE SAYS

GEORGE SAYS

The greatest good for the greatest number -
That is why I learned to rhumba;
Then them what cannot do the dance
Can watch me in my skin-tight pants.

Tuesday, November 09, 2004

TUESDAY

GEORGE SAYS

Rain falls on the Great Sankey plain, on this Tuesday morning in November. This is the north west of England, you see. Rain is what we do best.
But we do have sun. Oh yes. Not as much as when I was a boy; then the sun shone all day and every day - through the summer holidays at least. And the corn was ten feet high.

Monday, November 08, 2004

HOW IT STARTED

I was thrust upon the stage in the early hours of August 30th, 1935. I had no script and was told to improvise.
The stage set was that of a small Lancashire mining village; the props included: a school, a church, several pubs and three pits. Oh, and a row of terraced house. I was to live in the end one - Number 2.