Friday night

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Everybody I know is having scans and tests and procedures. And 'oscopies: cameras shoved down their throats an up their bums. And bits of 'em cut out and sent for Analysis. And all to stop them from dying. To delay their journey to that great re-cycling plant in the sky.

They've stopped doing Kronenbourg in the pub. They've replaced it with San Miguel, which is not as strong but a very smooth beer. So that's alright, then.

There are things and there are symbols. Symbols are just as real as things - but they are not things.

I had a nightmare the other night and woke up about 3am and was inspired to write a story about it.

The wisdom of the East?

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Let's blame the Americans,
Let's bash the Yanks -
Just look what they are doing
With their warplanes and their tanks!

It's not as if it's Germany
In nineteen forty four -
'Cos then they were on our side,
Helping us win the war.

Nagassaki and Hiroshima?
We didn't cause a fuss,
The Americans were our allies,
Finishing off for us.

But isn't it amazing
How soon we can forget,
Now that we're multicultural,
And politically correct!

And the Yankee Carpetbaggers
(or so I understands)
Are foisting their 'democracy'
On Middle Eastern lands.

Ancient civilisations,
Old as the desert sands,
With traditions like public stonings
And the chopping off of hands.

Where women know their place,
And are thankful for their lot,
And men are lords and masters -
And Mohamed knows what's what.

But look! Here comes more trouble,
A Middle Eastern crisis,
We're in danger from attack again -
This time it's bloody ISIS.

So come on Yanks, get cracking
With your missile strikes and stuff,
This time we'll even lend a hand -
If things get bad enough.

Anna

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Anna's gone to Sweden,
Anna's gone away -
She says she's coming back again
To England, one fine day.

But the days are getting shorter
And the nights seem oh so long,
And I'm left with just a photograph -
Of Anna, in her thong.

Heads will roll

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I found the duck's head on the path again this morning. I think it's the cats that do it. It was only Monday when I stuck it back on with that fibreglass resin. 

I'll try something else.

SCOTTISH REFERENDUM

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UPDATE

In view of the progress made in recent negotiations, Mr Cameron has ordered a scaling-down of military exercises along the Scottish border.
RAF Tornadoes will continue to make reconnaisance flights over the border counties.

Mr Clegg has denied the the presence of Russian military advisers in Gretna Green. 

Anna my Love

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_9LBbgYR4zE

I thought you did say 'less is more' ?

Lighten up, man...

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That's what he said to me - Hector - when I challenged him about the sleeping arrangements at Chez nous. 'I have needs - she has needs, so get real.'

I have also been exhorted to chill out. And, on one occasion urged to let it all hang out.

Where do all these expressions come from? America, I suppose. Still, you have to admit they are expressive, graphic; they do the job effectively, succinctly. And what more could one ask of language?

Perhaps I am just jealous of Hector - not just his command of the vernacular, but his command of Mrs Bulstrode. 

Anyway, it's raining - and I have to get my own breakfast.

George

Rent A Cause

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Let's join a Cause, Anna.

I'm feeling a bit pissed-off and I'm sure someone's to blame, somewhere.

I'm not fussy about which Cause: It could be one where you want to stop something from happening; or one where you want to 'save' something (or somebody); or a really grand one where you want to start your own religion or your own state - or both.

The advantage of a Cause is that you can get away with anything as long as it's 'for the Cause'; (As one political 'radical' put it to me: the end dictates the means.  Behaviour that normally would  be termed anti-social, immoral or even  downright criminal is now judged only by it's expediency in furthering the aims of 'the Cause'. You can get away with murder - literally.

Do you have to be a fanatic before you join a Cause? Or does joining automatically confer fanatic status upon you?

I haven't got time to go into the niceties of this question, Anna. When in furtherance of a Cause you have to act decisively; none of this shilly-shallying over philosophical questions.

'After the revolution, the first to go are the old intellectuals'. Not only do you no longer need them - they are downright dangerous.

But wait - I've just had a better idea: Why not start our own cause? I am sure we would attract the disaffected masses, looking for somewhere to focus their angst - and their energy.

We could have some car stickers printed: Save The Ferret; Independence for Swindon; Back to Basics (we needn't be specific about what 'basics' we want to get back to - that's the beauty of this one: people could fill in their own 'basics'.

So what do you think, Anna? There may even be some money in it; not that I am interested in money - but every Cause needs funds!

Let's man the barricades.

George

Less is more? Here's the shortest verse I have written.

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Responsibility


It was down to me
And Jimmy McPhee -
But Jimmy McPhee
Had gone for a pee -
So in the end, it was down to me.