Letter to Sam the Christian

Dear Sam

I am in a hole. This evening I am supposed to meet a woman who claims I have impregnated her – and now she is ‘with child’ as the bible might say. Also, I have said I will marry another woman (ex au pair) as soon as I get divorced from a third woman: Georgina – who is still (technically) my wife.

I bet you are not as sorely troubled with the sins of the flesh as I am. Do you remember when I used to say that I felt I was ‘steeped in sin’? Well I don’t feel that now, but I ask myself questions, all the same.

I don’t know what to think Sam, I really don’t. Isn’t life strange? If you had not saved me, I could not done the things I mention in my first paragraph.

I am not blaming you. I am grateful for your timely intervention; despite my troubles, I am glad to be alive (although I don’t know what being dead is like). As you know I am not a member of any church. I don’t really like organised religion. I would not go so far as to say it is responsible for most of the wars throughout the ages, but I do think it provides a convenient vehicle, a ‘cause’ for the fanatics, the power-crazed psychopaths of this world to claim justification for their barbarism. The fact that some of these psychologically damaged individuals group themselves behind ‘non-religious’ banners: - political, national, moral or whatever, does not alter that fact. Different uniform – same face.

Is there hope for me yet, Sam? still feel that I am a spiritual person – even though I am stumbling in the dark

But what am I going to do? I know: I shall go for a ride on the bike. Not my motor bike – they would not allow that – but a push-bike! The old pedal-power. They have a couple here and they encourage the patients to use them – just in the grounds of course.

“Ride around the grounds
Until you feel at home” (Mrs Robinson – re-written)

It is still bloody hot. Dr Singh is still off sick. And what with Amanda off too, they are so short staffed that they cannot supervise my use of the ‘net’. So I shall post this and then get my leg over the cross-bar and RIDE.