On the road

Well, I made it to the boat. Walked across about a hundred muddy fields (twice falling into ditches) to the A57, and then hitched a lift. Surprisingly, a young lady in a Series V - BMW stopped in response to my upright thumb. She was beautiful (I am sure I have seen her on tv): blond hair swept up into a coil on top of her head, and these very narrow spectacles - so elegant. And her perfume…
She took me into Swindon. All the way we chatted. Mostly about the relative merits of Hegel and Kant. She was remarkably knowledgeable, but it was strange to hear such erudition expressed in an Essex accent.
She asked if I minded if she smoked! In her own car, too! Now that is what I call manners. I said – no, of course not. But I declined her offer of a cigar. Cigar! She smoked cigars! Now that is what I call style.
She dropped me off at an all-night café on the Wormwold Road. I asked if she would let me treat her to ‘tea and toast’, but she smiled and said – thanks all the same, but I’ve got to check on the girls.
It was well after midnight, and I thought it was a bit late to leave children on their own. But I didn’t say anything.
Actually I don’t think she is on the telly: you don’t get many ‘stars’ living in Swindon. Diana Dors came from Swindon – but she never went back, not so far as I know.

Fortified by a fried egg and bacon bap, washed down with a mug of industrial strength, sweet tea, I set off once more, on foot, in a more optimistic frame of mind – and a light drizzle. I reached the sanctuary of the Marina as dawn was slithering across the wet fields.
I keep a key hidden in the starboard rope locker. As soon as I was aboard, wet clothes still sticking to my skin, I threw myself on a bunk and fell fast asleep.

The following morning I discovered that Big Roy, the entrepreneur gift-shop owner, had set up an ‘internet café’ Well, it is actually one computer in what used to be a storeroom, but he will also make you a cup of tea or coffee on request (£2.50 per hour (including tea/coffee – it still costs you £2.50 if you forego the beverage, so you might as well have it). Actually it was me that gave him the idea, some time ago. I thought that holidaymakers, on the procession of hire boats that pass along this busy waterway in the summer season, could stop and pick up their e mail and keep in touch with their loved ones – or relatives. I remember, at the time, Roy saying that he did not think there would be a call for it, and besides, he couldn’t be bothered. (I think he actually said he couldn’t be ‘arsed’). So you can imagine that I am a bit miffed to find that it is doing so well that he is going to install 4 more terminals, and sell snacks. But, instead of thanking me for putting him onto a winner, he claims it was his own idea! It makes one despair of humanity.

Anyway, the upshot is that I am able to file this report from the Marina. (oh yes, Roy charged me) but I cannot guarantee further reports, my situation being so unstable. I mentioned ‘sanctuary’ earlier, but I am aware this is a temporary sanctuary. No doubt my (soon to be ex) wife will take great pleasure in giving the hospital the address of the marina, so I shall have to move on.

Yes, I am truly on the run: a fugitive from the Mental Health Act. But, as you rightly say, RJ, there are plenty of internet cafes and libraries dotted throughout this fair and pleasant land. And, I may add, public wash-houses and hostels. Though what I shall really miss is my own lavatory. Still, other than that, I am not too downhearted at the prospect of a life ‘on the road’.

Oh, just one last thing. I sent an e mail to Anastasia asking her if she’d get Jake, her boss at the King's Head, to run her down here in his Mercedes, with some clothes and a few personal items, before I move on. She won’t let me down, my Anna.