Still haven't got the scooter back. But old Wetherspoon has resumed duties down the local nick. The ECT has certainly helped. You would not know there was anything wrong with now - except for the occasional facial spasm.
Anyway, he was on the case pretty sharpish. He's set up an incident room in the village hall. And called in a "Profiler" from Penketh University: guy by the name of Crocker; Dave Crocker. He's a pretty weird character. Wears this sort of fur hat - all the time!
But he's come up with something: says the guy they are looking for is of a criminal bent; probably lives with his common-law wife, on one of the "sink estates"; has a grudge against the capitalist society because of the unfair distribution of wealth; a drug user (and probably a dealer); aggressive with sado-masachistic tendencies, also...... wait a minute! I recognise that description - Gary, Carol's ex. He's back in the area. As soon as I have finished this I will be on the blower to old Wetherspoon.
Georgina wanted to return to the marital bed last night. Said the sun-lounger I have been making her use for the past week is doing her back in. I relented, but insisted on placing a bolster between us. Well, you can't be too careful.
Must close now and ring the nick.
Yours as ever,
George
Saturday, March 05, 2005
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
I always reckoned it was that Gary who pinched my bike. He's no good is Gary. Once he sold me half an ounce of 'Old Shag' - when I ran out on a Sunday and the off-licence was shut - least he said that's what it was, but it was all green and smelt funny, and when I smoked it I came over all queer and couldn't stop eating Mars bars. Next thing I knew, my bike was missing. I'm sure that Gary took it. I could never prove it. Shortly after, he got nicked for fiddling his gas meter and sent down for five years. He must be out now, if he's back in the area. If you see him, ask him about my bike.
I think you're quite right about Georgina. Have you sent her up the VD clinic? You can't be too careful, George - not after what she's been up to with that Scandinavian bint. Rum lot, the Swedes - if you ask me.
Post a Comment