A Grammar School Girl

I was right. Sydney is staying with his girlfriend, in her flat on the 'Parade'. And before you go thinking he's got himself involved with some old slapper, let me tell you Sybil is educated. She's an ex Grammar School girl. How do I know? I found another poem - and it had her phone number written on the bottom (that's how I found it).

'Twas a Grammar School girl
Set my head in a whirl,
In her gymslip so short and enticing;
And her black stocking-tops,
Where she hid lollipops -
Their flavour was strangely exciting.

Actually, it was Sybil I spoke to on the phone - Syd wouldn't talk to me. She called me 'love' - which was nice. "Don't worry, love" she said "I'll get the silly bugger to ring you".

He hasn't phoned so far, but his mother has - the lesbian. Wants me to take her back. Seems the Swedish tart has dumped her. Anastasia was bi-sexual (I could have told her that) and she took off with the bloke who runs the dodgems on the Pleasure Beach.

Told her I'd think about it. Well the place is in a mess. Needs a damn good clean. I mean, I can't live in a place like a tip. I have my standards.

I told her I'd think about it. Let her sweat a bit, eh.

George

A health problem

I think I have caught something off Carol.

I was a bit snuffly when I got up, and now I really think I am coming down with a cold. It just shows you how dangerous this romantic stuff can be. Now I come to think of it, she was sneezing a bit last night, but she said it was Hay Fever. I must have been stupid - Hay Fever - in February!

I was due to compete in the "6 peaks" race tommorrow, but they can forget that now. Acutally it isn't 6 peaks - it is 6 gradual slopes. Even so, it is a test of fitness and stamina. And it is tradition that the winner has his pick of the "Little Farting Drum Majorettes". So it is a pity I shan't be competing.

By the way, Adams. old sport - I looked up "syntax" in Syd's dictionary "the arrangement of words and phrases to create well- formed sentences" and I realise I have been syntaxing all my life; in fact you could say I was a born syntaxer. So Syd takes after his dad eh!

Pass the parecetemol.

George

Poets Corner

To lose your virginity
To a Doctor of Divinity,
Just because he happened
To be in the vicinity,
May not be very clever -
But it doesn't seem a sin to me.

Imagine my consternation when I found this poem on a sheet of paper tucked in a copy of "Aeromodeller". I was having a rummage in Syd's bedroom to see if I could find any clues as to his disappearance. I mean, I know he scribbles a bit of the old poetry from time to time, but what is one to make of this?

Actually, I have just remembered; the lesbian said something about him having a girlfriend: Sybil, I think it was. She's got a flat on the same estate as Carol. Talking of the aforesaid, I left there rather sharpish. She had a 'phone call from Gareth (Wayne's dad). He's out on licence and wants to come to see his son. Carol wanted me to stay because Gareth can be quite violent. But I said a man needed time with his son, and I could not interfere with that. She seemed quite upset. I think she'll be alright.

Well, Sydney's probably staying with Sybil; that will be the explanation. If I can find a phone number I will give her a ring.

Meahwhile I'll pop down the the "Jolly Pervert" for a spot of lunch. Feeling a bit peckish, what with all this dashing about.

George