An idea after all?

Derek said to me ‘There was so much swept under the carpet in our marriage we had to have a “mind the step” sign at the living-room door’.

I haven’t mentioned Derek before. Mainly because he is such a quiet chap. Never says much. That remark is completely out of character (or so I thought). He keeps himself to himself – in fact I have no idea why he is in here. He looks perfectly normal - apart from a strange taste in ties (he always wears one). He acts normal: you never hear him shouting or arguing with the staff; he never complains. A mystery. An enigma. Old Derek.

He suddenly came out with this comment when, for some reason, I found myself talking to him about Georgina, and all the trouble I had had. He asked me why I married her, and I said ‘Because she was there’. It was meant as a kind of joke, but when I said it I realised how much truth there was in it.

Then he said this bit about ‘sweeping stuff under the carpet’. And I could identify so much with that. Metaphorically of course - One of the abiding memories of my time with Georgina is the rattle of the Hoover around my chilly legs (every door in the house open) as I tried to complete the Times crossword - No, there was not much chance of physical dust accumulating at ‘Winoryn’. That’s the name of the house, the marital home. But by God, the mental dirt, the emotional detritus piled up by the day. I once suggested that we go to – what was then called – ‘Marriage Guidance’. Georgina said she did not believe in washing her dirty linen in public. I replied that it was better to do that than not wash it at all. She made no comment, and the subject was never mentioned again.

But this idea of Anastasia’s – I’ve been thinking about it. If the lesbian is divorcing me I could do worse than marry the elongated Scandinavian. She’s a bit younger than me, and no doubt would want to go out clubbing and stuff. But that’s ok. In fact it might be quite exciting: waiting for her to come home smelling of booze, cigarette smoke and perfume. And then – assuming of course she DOES come home - we go to bed, and she tells me all about what she has been up.

Tolerance. That's what's needed for a happy marriage.

Derek has asked me to come to his room after tea - he wants to show me something.