Georgie, Georgie, do not be distressing yourself about dead chick what has been gobbled up by  foul-mouthed English woman with Spanish name. Such is what happens. Brian has saying of how life is dog eat dog. I think this silly since I never see dog eat other dog but I do see lion chase after lovely gazelle and jump on him and tear him to pieces and eat him.(on the tv I see this).  How else would lion be surviving? Even gobbled up chick what never was, if had allowed grow into hen would have eaten worms and bugs or whatever. It make me laugh when people talk about a Grand Design or God’s plan. No grand design is there nor no plan, of God or anybody. We are all scrabbling in the shit on our planet, trying to make it to nightfall.
Even people what calls themselves vegetarian or even vegan or whatever. Just because vegetable and plant are of different species, like they have not bones or blood or move about does not mean they have no feeling. Just imagine if you was a turnip and suddenly one morning when you are just minding your own business and perhaps warming yourself in the sun, saying Spring is on the way, some farmer come along and with his big dirty farmer's hands, rip you from the soil, tearing all your lovely roots to pieces. I bet you would scream in pain only we cannot hear you because we are different species so we think it is okay to do this. Also what about the fish of the ocean who because they are cold blooded we do not think they feel the pain so we yank them out of their natural home which is the water and leave them gasping to die in net. What about that then?
But at same time if we fall off boat into water and shark come along he don’t think – oh this poor human, I must not eat him because he has wife and children at home waiting for him and how said it will be for them if he do not return. Oh no – Mr shark just get stuck into his supper by tearing off leg or arm or perhaps head of unfortunate human.

So you see Georgie this is the way of things in this bloody life. You are not responsible. You cannot put it right.

One more example shall I give to you which happen only yesterday. Brian and myself are having cup of coffee in little Bistro in town of Purley. I glance through window and see small duck type thing huddled in corner of wall all by itself. And I notice that the poor creature have a bald patch on his head. And I think this cannot be due to age because duck look quite young. Then I think perhaps he have some kind of bird disease but then I think more likely this bald patch is due, to other birds been pecking at him, because he also have red mark on his bald patch. – why they do this I do not know. Maybe he is gay or maybe he is just timid and cannot assert himself in the flock and so they pick on him (oh I did not mean this to be joke).
Anyway I draw to attention of Brian who say this is probably a Canada goose but only a young one because he has not got his full colour feathers. Some such shit. Anyway I go up to counter of café and purchase chocolate bar which has nuts and seeds and raisins and stuff in it, and I go outside, breaking bit off and saying – here you are Mr duck or goose or whoever, come and have some dinner. And he does. He snaps it up in his beak like he hasn’t eaten for a month and he comes to me for more. Not a bit shy is this bird. So I give him more, and then more, until he eat all of the bar – except for a bit which I myself eat.

Now what I am saying, Georgie, is this goose/duck is not telling himself – oh I must not eat this seed for it is intended to become  beautiful flower. Or, I must not eat that nut because it want to grow up into  tree. No, he just say – oh, lucky me, life is not so shitty after all because this Swedish tart is giving me her dinner.

Now Brian – who has with him his camera – take a picture of Mr duck/goose and I am asking him to post it onto the blog for your perusal. You may see bird’s bald patch.  Brian is good photographer. I say to him his skills could be put to good use in porno industry. But Brian does not wish for a career change as he enjoys his bus driving.
Now about my visit, you are fretting yourself again which is understandable perhaps since you are a bit sick in the head, and sickness is causing the paranoia. Reason for delay is Brian say he lack money for repair to car. But I say to Brian – why do you not use some of the money you tell me you have put aside for a rainy day. (I do not understand this expression since it is always pissing down in Purley). Anyway, Brian realises the importance of seeing you to me so he agree to do this, and car will be fixed by Thursday which is day of general election.

(By the way, what a silly bugger is this Mr Brown, forgetting to switch off his microphone before he tells his pals what he think of that old cow who talk to him about immigration. I see him on last debate of three leaders were he refer to this by saying – I sometimes get things wrong. By this he mean –I should have turned off my microphone. And this man seek to become prime minister?)

 Brian has day off from driving his bus on Sunday. So he will bring me on this day. Now, does not this make you happy, Georgie? Cheer you up?

I will say no more for now because I fear I have gone on already at length in this writing.

So until Sunday, my lover. And do not be fussing your little head over tragedies of life - I will help you forget these things.

Your Anna