It’s a bugger, Anna - no mistake –
I think I’ll go jump in the lake –
But hang on mate, the lake’s too wet,
Too cold, too deep, too dark – and yet
There must be something I can do
To ease the pressure – what think you?
The pressure’s building in my head
So much, that oft’ I have the dread
My head, it will explode – boom, boom,
And splatter bits around the room,
On floor and walls and even ceiling –
A thought that isn’t so appealing.
(I put myself about a bit –
But not like this, you will admit)
To jump in front of a speeding train?
It might just work, but then again,
I might not get it right – be fair –
And end up in the old wheelchair,
With someone paid to push me round
(that’s if a helper could be found) –
I know I said I’m pushed for money,
But really now – that isn’t funny!
An overdose is hit and miss –
I really can’t be doing with this –
Don’t take enough, and like as not,
A cabbage! That is what you’ve got.
To shoot myself I’d need a gun –
I don’t know where I’d get one from –
Though they say a bullet in the brain
Causes mess - but little pain.
A two-bar fire, dropped in the bath?
Come on mate, don’t make me laugh –
Although I’m not some kind of prude -
To be found dead – in the nude!!
Perhaps a leap, from building tall –
Fly like a bird – then quickly fall
To icy pavement, down below –
A most dramatic way to go?
It is, but man, I can’t stand heights!
Climbing steps gives me the frights!
Besides, I might land on somebody –
Behaviour I would deem most shoddy.
A knife then – just one quick incision?
But even that takes some precision –
Some knowledge of anatomy –
I think I’ll just let that one be.
Of course! The slitting of the wrists –
In bath, hot water, steam and mist –
A popular choice by all accounts –
Draining away, in small amounts.
A CD on – your favourite song –
Nah! It’s going to take too long.
It really is a thorny question,
But I'm open to suggestion -
As long as it don’t hurt - no pain –
And I’ve got the chance to think again!
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