Sam

I have got ‘Restless Arse” Syndrome: it is like “Restless Leg” Syndrome (did you know that 1 in 10 Americans suffer from it?) except that it is your arse that won’t keep still. In my case it keeps heading towards the lavatory. Actually, the doctors call it “Irritable Bowel” Syndrome – but I think my phrase is more picturesque.

I was in the bathroom when they showed Sam in (not into the lavatory). He did not mind waiting.
He asked me how I was feeling. “Shitty” I replied. He was sympathetic.

When he had gone I thought about what he had said. It must be nice to have a faith – no, I really mean it - to be so certain of things; to KNOW that there is life after death. But not only that, Sam seems so happy NOW: his face is radiant when he talks about ‘giving his life to Christ’.
I am not knocking it. It is just that I find it so difficult: the Church thing. I just can’t go along with a lot of the language in the hymns and so on – it does not make sense to me. But Sam says don’t bother about all of that. That organised religion has just twisted and distorted the essential message of Jesus
And I do think Jesus was quite a guy. I mean when you read some of the things he said – well the things people SAID that he said – you know, they really make sense. Things like ‘The Sabbath is for the people, not the people for the Sabbath’ (I may have paraphrased a bit there – it is a long time since I read the bible). Now, I interpret that as: religion should be there to help people, not to condemn or threaten them with dire consequences if they do not toe the line. Religion should ‘fit’ the people, not the other way round. And that means the people of the 21st century, not a middle eastern civilization of 2000 years ago.
I said to Sam that when I looked back on some of my behaviour I was appalled, and that I used to think that I was ‘steeped in sin’. He laughed and said he did not think I was. That cheered me up a bit.
Anyway, we had quite a chat – me and old Sam. He asked me if I would like him to come again, and I said yes. Strikes me, the more people I have on my side, the better. I shudder to think of being totally reliant on the lesbian to get me out of here.