It's all in the mind (?)

I awoke this morning, full of wind as a pipe organ. A series of small explosions followed me into the bathroom.

I felt unaccountably depressed. I say “unaccountably” – I had had a rather disturbing dream. And that may have contributed. Now, I don’t believe I go on the “astral plane” but my dreams are so vivid, so complex that it is hard accept that it is “all in my head.”

But I am sure that it is.

Of course, the astral plane may be just another way of saying something: another explanation. I sometimes think that we weave explanations, like a spider weaves its web, and that the “truth” lies not at the centre of the web – or indeed anywhere on the web – but in the weaving of the web.

Anyone who wants to extend this metaphor to the Internet, feel free to do so.

Oh, come on! Stop all this post-modernist nonsense, and change the subject.

Okay, I will.


CHAMPIONS have no sense of humour. In fact I would go so far as to say that if you have a sense of humour you have no chance of becoming a champion.

I am not a champion. (Although I have excelled in almost everything I have undertaken). But I have met many champions, and have found them so single-minded, so concentrated on their narrow field of endeavour, that there is simply no space in their head for anything else.

Furthermore, having a sense of humour means being able to laugh at yourself. And that is one thing an aspiring champion must never do. Everything has to be taken seriously, if you are going to win.

An example from the world of ice-skating: I was watching ‘patch time’ (for the uninitiated that is when then ‘serious’ skaters have the rink to themselves to practice and hone their skills). One girl made a slight miscalculation during a spin, and took a tumble. ‘Oops’ she said, and laughed. She will never be a champion.
Another girl, attempting an axel, failed to recover properly on landing, and went down on her bottom. ‘Fucking Hell’ she snarled. She has the makings of a champion.

But what has this to do with the price of fish? I hear you ask. Well, everything has to do with everything else. It’s all about ‘connections’. If only we understood the interconnectedness of things we would be well on the way to understanding what life is all about.
You know that thing about if you tread on a beetle in the Australian rain forest it has repercussions for the whole ecological system? Well, I have never been to the Australian rain forest but I understand what this means: it is all about ‘connectedness’.
Remember the John Donne quote: every man’s death diminishes me? Well, I am connected to every man – past, present and future. Of course when I say ‘man’ I mean woman too. (in JD’s time they hadn’t a properly developed sense of sexual equality).


I’ve decided I’m going to write to Anastasia; try and explain things. I mean about my behaviour. Maybe in writing it down I will come to understand it myself.
When I was in that place… you know… they used to encourage you to write down your thoughts and feelings; it was part of the therapy. I really believe it helps – for me, anyway. It doesn’t really matter if you never read it again; it is the writing down that is the therapy.

I’m still going to have a go at chatting up Grace. I know why she is here now. She will be ‘having an input’ – as they say in this game – into future courses at our super-duper conference centre.
So my offer was rejected, and now she is here. Fair enough. I can live with that. Remember what I said about the trick being knowing how to turn a disadvantage into an advantage? Watch this space.