Cause for concern

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Now then Anna, see how quickly I am replying to your post.

I did not realise you had such a tiring journey to come to England (my knowledge of the geography of Sweden is, to say the least, scant), and I feel privileged (and loved) to know that you will undertake such a long trek for me!

As regards accommodation: I would not want you to stay Chez Gwen.
Yes there are hotels in Swindon – some of them quite decent – and although (as you rightly say) I am broke, perhaps a little juggling with the old credit cards may provide the wherewithal: balance transfers and all that! I know this is just robbing Peter to pay Paul, but – what the hell.

Unfortunately I will not be able to meet you at Harwich (money again) but perhaps you could hitch a ride in one of the many lorries (trucks) travelling from the port? Try to avoid the Romanian and Latvian ones (little joke, eh?). But seriously, I would be most upset (not to mention being overwhelmed with guilt) if something happened to you on your way to see me.

The English drivers will know where Swindon is, and even if one cannot take you direct I am sure he will be able to drop you at some transport café where it will be possible to pick up a ‘connection’.
Oh, and do not wait to find a ‘Volvo’, there are many other fine trucks on our roads nowadays: Mercedes do a very nice range; Scania, Nissan and Fiat are not to be sniffed at. And of course the Anglo-Dutch DAF has a reputation second to none. Most will have a bed in the back of the cab where you could get your head down for a couple of hours, and since these modern trucks are automatic, or semi-automatic you should have an undisturbed sleep, and arrive fresh and invigorated.

I know I am probably trying to teach my grandmother to suck eggs, but your comfort and safety are of paramount importance to me.

Anyway, let me know what you think of this arrangement. Of course, when we have fixed dates etc I will give you instructions as to time and place of our meeting in Swindon. But let us not rush things. Our long awaited reunion is something to be savoured – n’est ce que pas?

Now you know I am not one for dwelling on the sadder aspects of our modern society, but I must tell you this. I heard something on the radio today about Morrisons (a supermarket) refusing to allow a woman to purchase alcohol because she had her seventeen year old daughter with her.

And, do you know, there were people ringing in to criticise this public- spirited company!

I say BRAVO MORRISONS. And BRAVO ASDA (now part of the –Wal-mart group, renowned for putting social responsibility before profit) for stopping a woman with a 20 year-old son who looked much younger and did not have any ID.
It is all very well his mother saying she will vouch for him, but you just cannot trust people. Incidentally, does not this reinforce the already strong case for a compulsory ID scheme to be brought in as quickly as possible? (Before Mr Brown loses the next election. That Cameron chap says he’s going to scrap it – fancy having a man like that in charge of the country!)

This admirable vigilance on the part of our supermarkets does not, however, go far enough. It is all very well, stopping a woman purchasing alcohol if she has her seventeen year old daughter with her, but what about those crafty women who leave their daughters outside the store? Isn’t it time these supermarkets had patrols in the car park? Just to make sure mummy is not going to hand the bottle of vodka to a trembling and shaking wreck of a teenager, clinging to the tailgate of a 4x4?

But it isn’t just teenage alcohol abuse that’s a problem: what about teenage obesity? I think supermarkets should refuse to sell food to people with fat kids. I know the mother may say, “Well, the chocolate gateaux is actually for me.” Oh yes – pull the other one, ducky. Leave your trolley where it is and bugger off – or I’ll call Security.

And there are other opportunities for supermarkets to use a bit of imagination. How about refusing to sell pork related products to anyone with a teenager who looks Jewish?

And what about Muslims? They’re not supposed to drink alcohol at all, are they? What’s Morrisons’ policy on that? I’d like to know.

There are cynics (‘malcontents’, I call them) who point to the aisles of beckoning booze, dazzlingly displayed, and say that if the supermarkets want to do something to discourage teenage alcohol-abuse why not stop selling the stuff altogether? These people just do not seem to understand: this would penalise those adults who want to abuse alcohol in a responsible way.

People are allowed to get away with far too much in this country. Next thing you know, they’ll be shouting for ‘free speech’

Oh, I have just discovered a pimple on my neck! Does this mean I am entering my second adolescence?

Anyway, my darling, I will look forward to hearing from you.

Yours, ever,

George.

(Oh, and thanks RJ for your comment – good editors are hard to come by these days.)