Sitting on the lavatory this morning, I thought - I wonder who decides where the perforations should go in a toilet-roll; obviously the placement of the perforations determines the size of the usable piece.
The piece in my hand seemed very small. Now I have not got a particularly big hand but I felt this was really stretching things a bit: to wipe my bum with this tiny sheet and still keep my fingers clean.
Later I measured a sheet (another one – obviously). It measured 12cmx10.5cm. This seems sparse, not to say paltry, considering the job in hand.
Just who decides how big a sheet should be? Is it decided at a full board meeting of the toilet-roll factory directors? Or does the MD say at breakfast, to his wife – how big do you think a piece of toilet paper should be? And his wife - who is getting the kids ready for school - just says the first thing that comes into her head?
If she is a midget she will specify a small size.
On the other hand, if she is a very big woman, with massive hands, you will end up with a more generous piece.
There could, however, be some kind of standardisation between manufacturers? Perhaps even a British Standard for toilet sheets. Now, with the Common Market, we may even be subject to an
EU directive on toilet-rolls. In which case the size is of a piece is probably based upon an average European hand size.
(It would be interesting to know if any studies have been done to establish a correlation between hand size and arse size. But that is straying from the present topic.)
Of course it’s not just the length – the width is also important. But I bet that is already an industry standard, because the roll has to fit any holder. So obviously the paper makers are in in thrall to the roll-holder makers who, in turn, are constrained by the materials and machinery available to them.
Standardisation all the way.
And are we, the public, ever consulted? Not likely. Have you ever been stopped on entering a supermarket, and invited to ‘try a piece of toilet paper’ and then give feedback on size, texture, absorbency and so on? I haven’t.
Incidentally, regarding absorbency, when I worked in a factory many years ago, if you wanted to go to the lavatory you first of all had to get permission from the foreman. Then there was a man at the entrance to the stalls (which had no doors!) and he issued you with 2 pieces of toilet paper. It was that shiny kind (no longer in use, thankfully) with IZAL stamped across.
Of course, it didn’t absorb anything. It just skidded off your bum. If you were ‘loose’ it was just too bad. You still only had two pieces. If you had diarrhoea you stayed at home. It would be an interesting study: how many workdays were lost due to the ‘2 sheet rule’.
But we’ve have come a long way from the squares of old newspaper our family used to have nailed behind the (outside) lavatory door when I was a boy. (of course we only used the ‘broadsheets’).
Today we have lovely soft toilet tissue (note the change in name) and many brands to choose from. Luxury!
So I salute the manufacturers… there’s just that question of the perforations.
Next week I shall be looking at the development of the sausage over the last half century.
No comments:
Post a Comment