Humiliation piles upon humiliation

Humiliation piles upon humiliation.
Today I learned that my wife (for so she still is despite her lesbian leanings) has been disporting herself on something called a ‘webcam site’
Cecil, our vicar, took the trouble to come round and tell me about it.
She’s not using her real name. I won’t tell you the pseudonym she has adopted; suffice to say it conveys more than a hint of illicit sexual promise.
Apparently she can be seen – naked to the waist – typing away, obviously engaged in lewd conversation with some other pervert.
I say naked to the waist. Cecil tells me you can’t see her face; he recognised her from the tattoo on her left shoulder – adding (rather hastily) “and also from her ‘profile’”. She has listed among her ‘interests’: classical guitar, Thai cooking and Tantric sex.
Lies! For a start, she’s tone deaf, and all the meals she ever cooked for me came from a packet, via the microwave. As for the Tantric sex – Cecil tells me it is having sex without actually having sex. Ah now, that sounds like my Georgina.
I asked Cecil what a man of the cloth was doing accessing such obviously pornographic sites. He quickly answered that it was all in the name of research. Part of his job is to be aware of the temptations that are constantly being laid in the path of his flock – this being one of technology’s latest. He therefore had to sacrifice his own inner feelings and, as he so cogently put it “dive to the utmost depths of this cyber Sargasso sea” risking his drowning in the murk and filth encountered there.
He also pointed out that he had not actually signed up to this depraved site. Evidently you can have a month’s free trial, where you can watch, but you can’t actually hear the conversations between these disgusting people.
Cecil's ‘free trial’ is coming to an end, but he feels that he may have to continue his research by actually signing up to – I think he called it – ‘silver standard’. He will, of course, be reimbursed from Parish funds.

What is the world coming to! And… wait a minute – Tattoo! WHAT TATTOO?