I think this poem is silly. For how could spider – even if tarantula type of species – stop the workings of such big machine. I think your Clive is loony type person – but of course this is why he is in loony bin. Of course, you, my Georgie, are also in loony bin but you are being a different kettle of the fish (see how I learn idiomatics of English?) I pick up this one from Brian who is born hearing sound of Bow Bells in his ears so is Cockeny person - and so have lots of lovable Cockeny sayings for all the occasions you might be wanting something clever to say in the conversation you might be having with someone. They also have this thing called the rhyming slang – one slang bit he uses often is Berk. Though I do not know how this comes to be rhyming, and Brian will not tell. Do you know why he calls person a Berk? What can this possibly rhyme slang with?

This lady who make important discovery in park sound clever cow. Sven also make discoveries in park but these usually left over from sexual activity in this location. He tell me once he find pair of ladies knickers hanging from low branch of tree. Blowing gently in breeze are these pants, like flag perhaps, because they are in design of union jack which is your country’s great national emblem. This lady – owner of knickers – must be obviously tourist of which we get many in our beautiful city of Goteberg. Also very patriotic person is she, flying flag for Great Britain in Swedish park. More like this woman are needed for your country I am thinking, then perhaps you stop the sliding down slope of decadence which is what is happening now.

By the way, Brian insist upon calling me by proper name which is Anastasia, which the same you did when first I come into your employ as au pair. I say to Brian – you can call me Anna. But Brian say that Anastasia is lovely name and should not be shortened. I think I agree with him. How would you like to be calling me Anastasia in near future?

You are telling me about people who look at our blog. This I do not mind but how to see their blogs? I do not know this. Can you tell me? But I agree with photograph of selves not being put upon George blog. No way would I be wishing to have physiognomy (I look this word up in Mr Roger’s book – it is part of my wish to increase the vocabulary of English) stuck up for all world to see, especially nosey immigration lot.

Brian tell me there is election happening upon 6th May. So I ask him, will my Georgie be able to vote because he stuck inside loony bin. To my surprise Brian say yes. This does not seem to me good idea, to allow those who are sick in the mind to have vote? But might explain why you have government like you do.

Have you yet asked the nice Dr Singh if I may visit you? This would be for the benefit of your health both of the physical and the mental. And on subject of your mental health I do not think you should be reading books about depressed dogs.

I am pleased you do not buy army compass - even though this light up in the dark. It is good you practise resisting temptation but remember this needs not to be taken too far!!

Okay, I make no further mention of debt of money.

Your soon to be lover again

Anna (Anastasia)